Saturday, October 17, 2009

Boobs to right of them, Boobs to left of them, Boobs in front of them. Valey'd and cleave'd; Storm'd at with rise and swell, Boldly they raved and well...


 
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Meghan McCain got a harsh life-lesson in the last couple of days. It's one of those "if youda ast me, I coulda tolja" moments. She tweeted a twitpic of herself, reading a book about Andy Worhol. Yeah, I KNOW!

She really should have anticipated the outraged reaction against her investigating the life and art of such a notorious leftist intellectual and polluter of the precious mental fluids of... actually, never mind my prescience. If sheda ast me, I'da toldher to never be caught dead publicly enjoying ANYTHING associated with Warhol. I mean, the drugs, the groupies, the alleged orgies, the abstraction!


But I tease, I do. For, while I could easily have seen people on the right going mental about it, and might well have expected to hear some outraged and futile harrumphing to that effect, it was not about that at all.

It was all about Cleavage Control. I Swear to God.





From her Daily Beast response...
Could it be it's because I have breasts? Because for those of you who didn't know, I have two. They're larger than some women's and not as big as others. I don't usually show off my cleavage—as I did in the photos I posted—which I will admit is not the smartest thing I have ever done. But it’s just not worth the drama it caused.
The comments on that posting reveal a drooling mysogyny that is truly appalling. But what's even worse is the presumption that they have the right to say hateful, offensive things.

Such as: (More or less random example of those still undeleted.)



8:19 am, Oct 16, 2009
mindlessmissy
Well, like Dave Chappelle will say, I will NOT call you a slut BUT you sure do have on their uniform ...


I mean, come on, you got them tatas poppin' out of your turtleneck and sh!... !
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2:21 pm, Oct 16, 2009
Dan100
I won't call you a slut, because I don't know how many people you have slept with.. But I will call you a hoe, because you put a trashy tittie shot on Twitter. You act so offended when people in the media comment on your body, yet you splash your boobs all over the internet. Go figure..


These are the classy ones. 

That stereotyping was disturbingly bipartisan and gender-diverse, which goes to show that boobs baffle brains - apparently all brains.

But I'm all growd up. I KNEW that. I certainly know that what my male brain does when it sees boobies - regardless of who's boobies they are, or what their "intent" might be. To paraphrase the Japanese dictum about nudity, "Boobies are often seen and never noticed."


Meanwhile, I happen to know pretty well that the only time I happen to think of my own primary sexual characteristic is when it does something to call itself to my attention. These days, that more often means avoiding sitting on them, not "avoiding occasions of sin while wearing tight pants."

Particularly tight pants with patch pockets.

In church.

At 14.

Yeah, guys. You KNOW what I mean. 

Stuff tends to do what it does, and you storta get used to putting up with it, while ignoring the hell out of it, so long as it doesn't actually hurt. All that much.

I don't know how well that applies to Megan.  She was at home, and taking a picture of herself reading a book. Looks like she was lying down in a recliner, with her boobs doing what boobs do when you do that. And since that's what it looks like, I can easily see her thinking that's what it meant. If she thought of it at all.

To those of you who think "well, she OUGHT to have thought of What People Would think"- I think the reaction is proof that "Mostly, they don't." And what they do think and have cared to share - they clearly should keep to themselves, as it's puerile, pornographic and offensive.

I take Meghan at her word when she says she didn't think about her boobs. I have it on good authority from various owners of moderately large boobs that they are as much a part of your body as elbows and knees. As an artist, I recognize the pose. It's a reflexive clench intended to keep the girls from hiding in the armpits.  It's not about lookin' sexxxxy. It's about not feeling ridiculous. Or so I'm told by sources with boobs, who's boobs - obviously - can't speak for McCain. Or McCain's.

Speaking of people who hear unattributed voices in their heads, it's quite apparent that there ARE people who are QUITE sure that McCain's boobs are saying slutslutlsutwhore. And probably "Al Gore is, like, SO hot!" But trust something I will share something with you. It's a bad idea to listen to those voices. They aren't any smarter than you are.

By definition.

To the extent of my understanding, Megan's "Sexy Pose" is as reflexive as the little dance I do before sitting down to ensure that I don't cause everyone in the room a moment of hilarity at my expense, and for exactly the same reason. I doubt she's thought about it for a moment since ...well, that time. When puberty slapped her in her face. The period of time we ALL repress with a shudder.

Except, of course, when we apparently see an opportunity to inflict our repressed insecurities on other, random people.

I embrace many things libertarian and the phrase "your right to make a fist ends at the tip of my nose." I also believe that observation should apply to words that are intended maliciously to cause harm. Emotional abuse is abuse and public figures have feelings too.

Frankly, if your mind takes you to where a little casual cleavage means that she's a "slut" or a "whore" - and you think you have the right to express that out loud in public, well, we all understand what those same "family values" would demand of a citizen. And since we both know that, we both know what sort of person that makes you - the sort of person used in the first fifteen minutes of a Western as a character development exercise.

Hey, I suppose that applies here as well.

Just two technical notes, Meg - work on your backhand, and use your sunblock. 

Ok, if I may be serious, for a moment. Meghan is much-touted as an obvious future leader of the Republicans. She's easily twice as credible as Sarah Palin and three times as intelligent. But that's seen as a disqualifer in small-minded America.

Meanwhile, back in the reality-based world, it's assumed that everyone sitting at the "smart kids table" is some kind of tree-huggin' anti-war cawmunist faggot pinko librul. And Megan IS smart...


Meg, you have been set upon by Siberian Peasants. They probably aren't bright enough to co-ordinate their own hysteria. And all the shaming seems so... repetitive. It almost sounds like ... talking points, doesn't it?  Almost ... Rovian. 


Hm. I'm sure it's just a question of superficial appearances.

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